Meet the Family (Third in the rescued series)
by jackieisdacaptain
Summary: Again I apologise for the shoddy way this one was uploaded! I've sorted it out! Teague has finally won and has managed to drag Jack away from his beloved ocean and back to the family he hates. But when a mysterious stranger turns up Jack's already topsey turvey life becomes even more confusing! R&R sparrabella!
1. Prologue

Prologue:

"LIAR!" Jack shouted as he recognised the cove they were sailing towards.

"This ain't Tortuga!" Arabella joined in.

"Oh did I say Tortuga...Jackie you should know by now, I lie." Teague said turning away evilly.

"Where even are we?" Arabella asked exasperated,

"Shipwreck cove." Jack spat.


	2. A Taste of Misery

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE PRODIGAL SON HAS RETURNED!" Teague said mockingly, he'd let Jack into the main family room where a dagger narrowly missed his head.

"Home sweet home." Jack sighed sadly.

"YE LITTLE BASTARD! WHY DID YE EVEN BOTHER COMING HOME!" Grandmama shouted at Jack throwing yet another dagger at his middle; Jack sidestepped narrowly missing the blade.

"Love you to?" he sighed again.

Suddenly though something caught his eye, a new member of the family? She was fairly tall with long blonde hair, wearing a decent-ish dress and a white shirt underneath, she slowly came towards Jack and Teague, her hips swaying. Suddenly she put her arm around Teague, who returned the gesture. She looked up at Teague.

"So, this is yer famous boy? He looks just like you!" The woman said smiling sweetly,

"Goddammit!" Jack swore. The woman gave a tinkling laugh.

"Ha." Teague growled, sticking Jack in a hug that was more like a headlock, "very funny." He squirmed out just as the woman who was more like a girl gave another giggle, Jack noticed that Teague looked rather uneasy.

"Who's this?" he asked rudely.

Teague giving Jack a warning look said, "Jackie, this is Cathy, my girlfriend."

"But what about La-,"

"Jackie. Why don't you go and get something to eat?" He suddenly realised what Teague was so worried about, and making a little 'O' shape with his mouth he turned and walked to the kitchen.

A minute later Teague joined Jack who was standing on a countertop, searching the cupboards for any sign of food; he did find several bottles of rum and some fermenting apples and was strongly considering eating one.

"Jackie." Teague said still looking panicked and jumpy, "I need to have a word."

"I need to have a word with _you."_ Jack glared at Teague, "What are you doing with a girl half your age, especially when you've _been_ with Laura!"

"Yes..." Teague mumbled, "You see, I sort of forgot about Cathy while we were sailing."

"You sort of forgot?" Jack echoed, "You _SORT OF FORGOT?"_

"Aye..." Teague looked ashamed.

"So who is this girl?"

"Catherina," Teague smiled wistfully. "She's a Spaniard; a friend of Valerie's."

Jack's jaw dropped, "That bitch."

"JACK ROBERT TEAGUE! For the last time-"

"Yes, yes, yes... No swearing, no cursing. You think you've got a right to lecture me when you're the one sleeping with a twenty year old _and _my girlfriend's _mum?!" _

"She's twenty three..." Teague said defensively. Then he realised. "I didn't sleep with-,"

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Twenty three. Po-tay-to, po-taa-to."

"Oh go away!" Teague said childishly.

"Happily!" Jack said slipping away, up to his room.

Jack slammed the door and then flopped onto his bed. He was lying in a pool of self-pity when he heard what he thought was a knocking on the door.

"GO AWAY!" He whined, "I don't like you!" but the knocking was persistent.

"I thought I told you to go away!" but then he heard a squawk that came from outside his window, he realised that the knocker was not a knocker but a tapper and the tapper held a note in its beak. Jack leapt up and opened the window seizing the bird in his hands and carrying it into the room,

"'ello, there mate." He said looking at the bird hungrily, starting to wish he'd eaten some of the fermented apples. Jack grabbed the letter and tore it open:

_Jack! _

_Help! Me mum dropped me and the rest of 'em back in Tortuga! She's forcing me to work in the bride again! Fitz, Jean and Tuman are renting a room and trying to get us a ship, Fitz wants to be captain! _

_I've tried to tell him that because I was first mate, I should be captain! (or we should try and rescue ye!) I miss ye Jack! How are ye holding up?_

_I love ye,_

_Arabella_

_Xxx_

Jack felt overjoyed that he had received something from Arabella and that he hadn't been forgotten, although he didn't like the bits about Fitzy becoming captain...or Arabella for that matter!

He fumbled around draws looking for paper and a pencil.

_BELLS!_

_HELP ME! Oh and tell Fitzy that if he dare think he can take my place he's got another thing coming! I've been here five minutes, so far they're all hopelessly drunk, my life has been on the line too many times to count and I've locked myself in my room! Oh! And I've found out my dad was cheating on your mum with someone closer in age to me than to him. (euurrgghhh) SAVE ME!_

_Love _

_Jack x_


	3. Crystal Balls and Puppy Love

Chapter two: crystal balls and puppy love.

Jack managed to stay in his room for a full six hours before the pangs of hunger forced him back down into the lion's den that was his family home.

He crept downstairs hoping to pass through the living room unnoticed. But then he realised he would be less noticed than he thought, there on the sofa was Teague and Cathy, wrapped in each other's arms and utterly oblivious to the world around them. The sight, to Jack was worse than watching someone lick Davy Jones' slimy tentacled hand. They pulled apart and gazed into each others' eyes, Jack swallowed, they closed their eyes and began moving towards each other, _no no no no no_, thought Jack just as one of the family guard dogs, a great big slobbery bull of a beast, passed him and a bright idea came into his head.

"Hello doggie!" he said scooping the mutt up into his arms and carefully lowering it in between Teague and Cathy's quivering mouth, Cathy's lips met the slobbery mouth of the dog. She carried on kissing blissfully unaware that the dog was panting and salivating heavily, this may have been due to Teague's own mouth snogging the dogs butt, Jack struggled to contain laughter.

"Teague..." Cathy breathed, "You're an animal..." Jack, at this point, could contain himself no longer falling on the floor he clutched his stomach as he laughed so hard he started crying.

Teague opened his eyes and screamed, utterly repulsed, Cathy began to wipe her mouth and whine slightly.

"JACK TEAGUE!" Teague roared and threw the dog at Jack, who ducked and dived onto the sofa,

"Look at this way at least now the dog has a clean butt." Jack said laughing and putting his arm around Teague and Cathy. Teague growled and pushed Jack away.

Jack suddenly felt a strange sensation in his arm, he looked at his other arm and unnoticed by Teague, Cathy was stroking his arm, as it got lower and lower Jack jumped to his feet, not sure whether to be disturbed or flattered.

"I'm going to get some food." He said, suddenly turning at the door he said, "If there is any." Jack stalked to the kitchen feeling quite chuffed with himself but suddenly the mood vanished as he saw Valerie's smug face.

"Why do you look so pleased with yourself?" Valerie asked, stopping Jack from entering the kitchen.

"Valerie! How nice to see you! Unfortunately right now I have no time for dealing with half-wits and dolts. Maybe you should call me in the morning." Jack said pushing past her to get to the cupboards. Valerie mood quickly changed, and she threw a dagger that missed Jack's head by a long shot but had defiantly closed and locked the cupboard.

Jack growled slowly "Can I not even eat in this house without being my life being put in some form of jeopardy?" Jack moaned dramatically jumping down from the kitchen counter.

"ENGARDE!" Valerie shouted, desperate for a chance to beat up her younger cousin.

"Can I eat first!? I haven't eaten in three days!" Jack begged.

"COWARD! Face me like a man!" Valerie demanded.

Jack reached for an apple and pulled a sour face desperately trying to hide it. "Mmm... delicious." he said putting the apple back down,

"YOU'RE DEFEATED BY AN APPLE! Grow up Jack!"

"Well I do try but I'm constantly reminded by you and the rest of the family that I am nothing more than a child and 'Teague's whelp' at that!"

"Prove yourself then!" Valerie provoked.

Jack, who was quickly tiring of the situation, gave up on trying to be diplomatic and instead went for the more 'Heartless pirate' approach, flicking his dagger easily with his wrist he pinned Valerie by her collar to the wall.

"FIGHT LIKE A MAN YOU WHIMP! ALL YOU'LL EVER BE IS TEAGUE'S BLOODY WHELP!" Valerie yelled.

"Stop telling me to be one and be one yourself!" Jack turned on his heal, "Oh wait! You can't because you're a girl, who'll never mean anything to this great family of men! Face it Valerie your destined to be a cook!" Jack said going into her face, Jack had unfortunately forgotten that although she was stuck to a wall her hands were free to move and cause pain, she began throwing knives at Jack as he ran down into the basement.

Jack lit a small lamp to guide himself through the basement; suddenly a figure leapt out of the shadows...Mabletrude, Jack gulped.

"WHELP OF TEAGUE!" she proclaimed throwing her arms wide, "I HAVE RECIEVED A VISON OF THE GREAT BEYOND! ABOUT YOU, WHELP OF TEAGUE."

"For the last time, its Jack, even Jackie is preferable to that!" Mabletrude wasn't listening to him though, and took him over to her table of tricks.

"Hello? I don't care what you have to say!" Jack groaned, "I'M HUNGRY! I'M LOOKING FOR HARDTACK NOT MY BLOODY FUTURE!"

"There is one, who owns your heart, she...she will leave you for one, another,"

"Well thank you! You have successfully ruined my evening! I will now go back to my room, and wallow, again!" Jack said turning around and walking away.

"Wait! If you do not turn back from the path that you are treading, something hard will hit you...in the back of the head." Jack continued walking.

"Yeah, yeah, ye-," something shattered on the back of his skull and then all went black. Mabletrude walked over to Jacks still body, prodding it with her foot.

"Woops! Whelp of Teague is dead..." she walked into the shadows, "Father of Whelp of Teague must never know..." she crouched pathetically behind a beer barrel, and waited for fate.

Valerie who had by now pulled the dagger out of her shirt had heard a large smashing noise, she cautiously made her way down to the basement, peered at Jacks limp body and smiled,

"The Pirata Codex now has a worthy heir, and to your disgust 'captain Jack sparrow' it is a girl!" She laughed, storming back to the kitchen and then quickly, thinking of her future, went to inform Teague of his...tragic loss.


	4. Mouth to Mouth Resusitation

When Jack woke he felt a soft pressure on his lips.

"Bells?" He said sleepily, suddenly a throbbing pain hit his head; he opened his eyes to find not bells but another girl on his lips, "Woah...that's not my girlfriend..." Jack said sleepily, crawling out from underneath her, his vision was still a little blurry, "Who are you?" he asked groggily.

Suddenly an all two familiar person walked over...Teague...oh yes; this strange girl who'd been kissing him was Cathy, his father's girlfriend.

"You're alive." Teague said, "You're not dead." Teague face was full of conflicting emotions, "What were you doing Cathy?"

"I was making sure he wasn't dead, I think I saved him, you have me to thank for your son's life!"

"Thank you...Very much." Teague growled, "ever so grateful!" Teague then turned to Jack who was touching his head and then examining the blood on his fingers, Jack moaned from the pain.

"Boy! Stop lounging around and do something useful , for a change!" Teague stormed out of the room, Jack was hot on his heels, scared that Cathy would pounce again.

_Jack! _

_Nice to hear that you're having fun! I'm sure it can't be as bad as ye say! Anyway! I'm on ship and guess where it's going...yep! Shipwreck cove! I'm going to meet your family!_

_Looking forward to seeing you! _

_Love bells_

_Xxx_

Jack scratched a quick two word reply,

_Bring food._

"BELLS!" Jack shouted at the dock running over to her and embracing her in a huge hug she returned the embrace and buried her head into Jack's shoulder, Arabella pulled away and leaned in to kiss him.

"I've missed you so much!" she said, her voice muffled into his shirt, suddenly Jack remembered something he'd said in his letter, and pulling himself away said,

"Aww, I've missed you to! Where's the food?"

Arabella rolled her eyes, "I've brought bread, hard tack and...bacon!"

"I love you." Jack said smiling, Arabella rolled her eyes and laughed affectionately, she gave him a bag filled with bacon. Jack snatched the bacon from her and began eating it ravenously,

"Jack...that's not cooked!" Arabella said quietly,

"I don't care! I haven't eaten in a week!"

"I'm not kissing ye while ye've been eating raw meat."

"I'VE HAD ONE FERMENTING APPLE, IT WAS GROSS, I CAN STILL TASTE IT!" Jack moaned.

"Aww, I have... some pity for ye." Jack rolled his eyes but carried on eating the bacon, Arabella suddenly realised that, as well as being gross, eating raw bacon caused food poisoning, she thought of how ill her mum had been and quickly swapped the bacon for some bread. Jack, who wasn't tasting let alone looking at the food, didn't seem to notice. Arabella sighed looking at Jack's now scrawnier body, obviously he'd been right about shipwreck cove.

Far out at sea Admiral Merrington-Faye looked out across the waves to shipwreck cove, through his telescope.

Inside information had told them how to get in. He rubbed his hands together gleefully.

"Just a few hours till I meet my son."


	5. Plotting

A few days earlier...

"Gentlemen...We are here today to discuss the current state of the company." Admiral Norrington addressed the other admirals who sat at a desk in the meeting room, "As we all know possibly our biggest threat at the moment is from pirates, pirates whom unfortunately for us have children, these children could become some of the biggest terrors on the seven seas, especially those with pirate lord heritage. Therefore gentlemen, I propose an idea, an opportunity, a...different option for these children. I want to bring these children into the world of His Majesties Navy or the East India Trading Company. How will we persuade them to do this? I may hear you asking, I want you gentlemen to take these children into your homes, either that or take them to an orphanage in port royal, I want to teach these promising young sailors the ropes of the navy and maybe later in life, they will join us in our fight to rid the earth of the scum of pirates!" He finished.

"So you want to rid the World of pirates, by using Pirates." Admiral Dalton asked.

"Yes."

"By Jove! That's bloody brilliant!" Admiral Merrington-Faye expressed.

"Quite. So I want to start with one pirate who has been on our Watch list for quite some time, Jack Sparrow the Son of the infamous Captain Teague." Norrington said angrily an evil glimmer in his eyes, "and I want you, Merrington, to sort this out." He said handing over a chunky file to Merrington-Faye.

"Sir I'm flattered! But how will I get this child?" he asked suddenly concerned.

"Oh I don't know! Figure something out!" Norrington said frustrated, "Meeting Adjourned."

"Bells, before we go in, I feel I need to tell you what you're in for." Jack said facing her just outside the door. She raised an eyebrow, "Just stick with me! When I open the door, I want you to duck and run left, up the stairs then wait at the top, keep your wits about you though and make sure you're ready for anything." Jack said as if briefing a spy.

"Jack they can't be that bad." Arabella said sceptically.

"Bells just trust me." Jack opened the door and as Arabella walked in Jack knew what was coming and, without Arabella really knowing what was going on, Jack threw her on the floor just as a dagger flew to where her head had been a few seconds earlier.

"You see what I mean!" Jack said as pulled himself to his feet and helped Arabella up.

There was a stunned silence.

"Is this the wench?" asked Grandmamma, rudely, Arabella put on a brave face, ignorning the insult,

"Aye," She said, "A pleasure to finally meet ye all!" she said her voice full of uncertainty, Brannigan walked over to Arabella eager to make a good impression.

"You're here just in time." He said smiling warmly, "We're just making diner."

"Wait! Dinner as in...food?!" Jack asked barely believing this stroke of amazing luck.

"Food?" everyone else echoed.

Arabella looked mystified. "What're we having?" She asked, suddenly and as if in answer to her question Mcfleming walked in carrying plates of buttered crabs...Jacks favourite.

"Buttered crabs? For me? To eat?" Jack asked pinching himself, sure it was a dream, then taking his pulse to make sure he hadn't died and gone to heaven, "Wait? Why! Who...or what died, have you killed my dog!" Jack demanded, Brannigan laughed nervously.

"He's just ...over-reacting; we do eat here...sometimes, quite often in fact!"

"You're right! I remember on my fifth birthday someone gave me some cheese." Jack said rolling his eyes.

"STOP YER CHATTER AND EAT YER DINNER." Grandmama snapped, throwing her cutlery knife at Jack, who, as usual, casually avoided it.

Jack had just begun to tuck in to his first dinner since he got there when suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Get that Jack?" Teague said, too busy looking at the buttered crab to care who was at the door,

"Why me!" Jack groaned, Teague answered simply by throwing a hard tack at Jack.

"Ouch!" Jack said rubbing his head, "Why are they so hard!"

"They are hard tacks...Thicko." Valerie sneered, Jack sighed and walked over to the front door he was sure that by the time he had got back that the crab would've been eaten and it was going to be a hungry evening.

He opened the door and saw a smartly dressed looking man. With dark brown hair, that was ever so slightly curly, Jack looked at the man, feeling confused and in a daze of annoyance.

He said rudely, "Who are you?"

The man threw his arm wide, "SON!" he said leaping at Jack to try and hug him, he sidestepped quickly, is this man drunk? Jack wondered.

"DAD?" Jack cried desperate for Teague to come and save him,

"That's me son." The man said again, Jack, who was beginning to feel more and more confused, for once took refuge in the family home, Teague stalked out of the dining room grumpily half a crab claw hanging out of his mouth.

"What d'you want?" Teague growled, the drunkard looked suddenly scared, his face went blank as his mind desperately worked, then an idea came to him.

"Trade." He said backing it up with a fierce nod.

"What d'you want to trade in." Teague asked, boredly.

Once again the man's face fell. "Ummm...pirate goods." He said stupidly,

"Well...what sort of pirate goods!" Teague demanded his temper flaring,

"What do you sell?" The man asked, even Teague was beginning to look suspicious,

"We sell...rum, stolen goods, salted meats, cursed gold...oh and hard tack."

"Could I have some hard tack please?" the man said, too well spoken to be a pirate, or even a trader.

"How much hard tack?"

"Ummm...ten?" the man said still lost in what the conversation was about,

Teague smiled grimly, "I'll send Jackie down with the merchandise tomorrow, where're ye staying?"

"...where can I stay?"

Teague shook his head in disbelief, "There's an inn-house in the town. Go there." He slammed the door, "goodbye...good riddance."

Teague and Jack walked back to the dining room, only to find their plates had already been cleaned, Jacks heart sank, then he saw a sight, more disturbing than a dead conquistador rising from his tomb; Valerie was...smiling? And Arabella, they were...chatting, animatedly...like...friends?

"Ok, my mind is already pretty clouded by lack of food, am I imagining this?" Jack asked the two girls.

"Arabella's nice. Why is she going out with you?" Valerie asked disgustedly.

"Arabella's awesome, why is she friends with you?" Jack countered.

"Teague's whelp!"

"SEA COW!" Jack shouted.

"DADDY'S BOY!"

"WANTS TO BE A BOY!"

"KRAKEN BREATH!

"KRAKEN FACE!"

"BLOODY BASTARD!"

"STUPID BITCH!" suddenly Jack and Valerie launched at each other and started throwing their fists and feet, here there and everywhere.

"JACK! VALERIE!" Arabella said, suddenly worried for the welfare of the two cousins, "Stop acting like children!" it was almost as if Arabella had a motherly hold over them.

"Sorry..." they both chanted quietly, Valerie stalked off.

"What's the matter with you two?" Arabella demanded.

"She's mean to me!" Jack replied childishly,

"Ye're both as bad as each other!" Arabella scolded.


	6. Revelations

Chapter 5: revelations

The next day Jack found himself rolling a barrel of hardtack down to the nearest inn, still pretty sure that Teague had only woke him up this early to annoy him, finally he reached the inn, 'the rising sun'.

Jack walked into the inn during a particularly nasty brawl and wondered how the mad man was faring. He walked over the barmaid.

"Umm, where's...where's the mad drunkard who came to my house yesterday demanding hard tack?"

"Look around ye!" The girl demanded angrily.

"Poshly dressed, talks all one and what not ya know?"

"Ah! Room four, having seen him since he arrived yesterday, probably a bit scared!"

Jack ducking to avoid flying chairs said "Wonder why..." and ran up the stairs.

Jack knocked on one of the many doors in the corridor,

"Who is it?" a quivering voice asked from behind the door.

"Uh, Jack sparrow? Ya want hard tack?" the door was flung open.

"Come in! Come in Jack!" The man said eagerly, Jack seeing a manic pirate charging up the stairs quickly accepted the offer however once the door was closed he wondered if he'd ever come out again.

"Now, this may come as a surprise but I don't want any hardtack."

"Huh! Never!" Jack said his voice thick with sarcasm, "your acting skills are wasted as a...merchant?" he guessed.

"Ah! You've grown to be such an intelligent young man..." The man said "I might as well tell you the truth. My name is Admiral Merrington-Faye and I'm your father." Jacks face went white and his looks of confusion merged with that of surprise Jack was, for the first time in his life, speechless,

"I can prove it to!" Admiral merrington -faye continued , " You see this bead." He said touching one of the beads that had now joined those that were braided in Jack's hair, he pulled out what looked like an earring with exactly the same bead adorning it, "by chance did it used to be an earring," Jack nodded in a stunned silence.

"But you can't be, Captain Teague's m-," Merrington-Faye cut him off.

"Urgh! That rat!" He said angrily, "That evil man is the devil himself! He took you from us when you were a child! Him and that Asha, they stole you out of the crib!" he said with disgust. Jack sat down on one of the old, tattered and ripped sofa's. He didn't want to look at Merrington-Faye or anyone else for that matter, he put his head in his hands, trying to take it in. Teague, the man who Jack had always suspected wasn't his father actually...wasn't. He didn't know what to think and of his mother! Jack had always trusted her but she'd been lying to him to! He didn't know how to feel, but then suddenly an idea came to him, somewhere out there, he had a family, a normal family who were down to earth, who, maybe, had missed him all these years! Either that or at the very least they'd respect him as a person...not a dart board. Within an instant Jack was up on his feet, Merrington Faye was there smiling.

"What do I do?" He asked, slightly scared by what could be the answer,

"Jack you know what to do...you run away, I know you've done it before, and I know you can do it again. Meet me at the docks in a week's time. Then I can take you home again." Jack just nodded, no questions were asked. He walked out of the inn, not knowing what to think anymore, could it be possible that life had just got even more confusing than normal.

As soon as Jack got home he was dragged by Arabella up to her room, where she and Jack embraced and began kissing until Arabella pulled away.

"So, tell me about yer family then." She said jumping over to sit on the bed.

"Why? You've met them!" Jack laughed. He had decided not to let what Merrington-Faye had told him slip...just yet.

"I know but I think they're being polite." Arabella reasoned, "I mean, ye've been complaining that they're so much worse, so...what are they really like." She was practically begging Jack to tell her. He sighed.

"Well." He said sitting down on the bed across from Arabella, "My dad...is being his usual, irritating self, Brannigan is normally like this, he can be a lot like my dad but quite often he's not. Mcfleming, she's absolutely brilliant! She doesn't like my Grandmama and she's like an automatic shield! If the old bat actually manages to hurt, me, Valerie or one of the little cousins she's on to her straight away, same feelings on that woman me and her! Then there's the old bat herself I swear she's sent by the devil himself to make my life miserable, oh no, wait that's a bit harsh, perhaps not sent by the devil but...married to him! Valerie is a pain! She's the thorn in my side and I hate her! Oh and Mabletrude, she's...interesting, if she speaks to you...listen but ignore! Either that or avoid the basement altogether or send someone else down...Valerie perhaps! She likes getting hit in the head hard...and sometimes deserves it." Jack finished, Arabella just stared at him then started laughing, "What?" Jack asked,

"Ye and yer family dramas!" Arabella rolled her eyes, "oh and who's Mabletrude?" she asked inquisitively.

"Oh thank god she hasn't got to you yet!" Jack sighed suddenly relieved that Mabeltrude hadn't shown her another man that she'd leave him for, he'd decided to keep that to himself to. " She's a cousin of my Grandmothers, or something like that! And she's a Mystic and weird! She'll tell you...utter lies so I suggest you just ignore whatever she says."

Arabella just nodded. "Oh by the way Valerie's showing me round the town tonight, so ye may have to face the family alone!" she said jokingly.

"Where are you going?" Teague asked making Jack jump out of his skin just as he was about to open the front door.

"Don't do that!" Jack snapped.

"Jack, where are you going?" Teague demanded.

"None of your business!" Jack said sticking his nose in the air and turning away.

"Jack." Teague said in a warning voice, "I'll have you know it is my business, it's eleven and the drunks are out." Jack sighed, realising he was going to have to lie.

"Fine if you really want to know, it is my intentions to walk through the town naked, turn into a fire-breathing ware-wolf, destroy the town houses then go down to the cove and make love to a mermaid." Jack said with a glint of mischief in his eyes, Teague looked ever so slightly concerned, "I'm kidding!" Jack said sounding exasperated, "I'm going out to see Robin, Callie, Diego and Coralina! What, is that a crime now? You can't stop me!" Teague just looked into Jacks determined eyes and saw he couldn't keep Jack under his wing forever.

He sighed.

"Go." He said. Jack smiled and turned to the door, running through the streets to the inn where Merrington-Faye had been staying.

"Good God." Faye said putting down the hefty file of all information of Jack,

"What?" spat Norrington.

"This boy's been through so much!" Faye said his face looking sincere and upset.

"You're only supposed to adopt him, not feel sorry for him. George, he is a pirate, it's going to take a lot of hard work and elbow grease to make him naval standard." Norrington said, a look of smugness on his face.

"Yes sir, I understand that but look at this," He said gesturing to the file, "Mother died when he was five, he's often beaten by his Grandmother, father ignored him for eleven years, ran away aged sixteen, it doesn't even look like his family has the tiniest bit of affection for him." Faye looked concerned even sad?

"George, as I said, he's a pirate and pirates are scum effectively by adopting him you are letting a rat

into your home! Pirates are vermin, get used to the idea, you'll be sharing a home with one."

"Sir...would you do it? Let a pirate child into your home."

"Goodness no! I couldn't put up with one of those things living with me, dirty little rats, deserve nothing but to get shot! Unfortunately though some of the children are good sailors, could be such a waste!"

"Where have you been!" Jack said to Faye as he stumbled into the pub.

"Oh," Faye stumbled, "Just sorting out some business! Anyway...are you hungry?" he asked

"Are you insane?!" Jack replied he stopped at the blank look on Merrington's face, "Yes, I'm hungry! Please don't withdraw offer of food!" he spluttered.

Faye nodded slowly. "Alright then... I'll order the best they have here!"

A couple of minutes later Jack and Faye were sat at a table as tucked away as they could to avoid the brawling pirates Jack was devouring a bowl of gruel and some bread that was at least fifty per cent rock, stopping only to make the occasional noise of intense pleasure. Faye, on the other hand, had pushed his bowl aside and was watching Jack in awestruck horror.

"Do those pirates not feed you?" he asked, jokingly.

"No," Jack said, his mouth full of food. "Are you going to eat that?" He gestured to Faye's still full plate.

"Have it," Faye said, concerned. "When did you last have a meal?" Jack pondered this question for a minute,

"If you count a rasher of raw bacon and a hunk of bread, three days. Otherwise, a week." Merrington Faye's eyes widened in horror, he would have thought that Teague would have at least fed Jack!

"My boy, at home my wife- your mother- cooks me three meals a day."

Jack was stunned, "People actually do that? Eat breakfast, lunch and... What's it called? Dinner. Why did Fitzy ever leave you people?!" Jack exclaimed.

Faye laughed.

"Three meals a day..." Jack mused.

"And cake in the afternoon."

"C-c-c-cake?" Jack said his eyes widening

Merrington reached across and put a hand on Jack's bony, malnourished shoulder, "Jack... Will you come home? To me and your mother?"

Jack didn't have to think beyond the image of the cakes he'd seen in shops in Tortuga.

"Yes!"

Merrington Faye smiled, happily, "Good, come to the docks next Monday, there will be a ship waiting to take you back to port royal." From outside the window of the inn a tall figure who wore a black cape, watched Jack and George. The storm that was starting to blow round the island blew his long dreadlocked hair around his weather hardened face, Teague had had enough, Jack had been sneaking out of the house for three nights now and all this while had been lying to him! Teague had thought that they'd at least achieved a mutual line of trust. Teague didn't even know why he'd lied though and who was that he was with? The drunkard from a few nights back! He'd had enough, he stormed though the doors and into the pub.

"JACK SPARROW!" Teague said for once using Jack's name. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Teague screamed, he was barely heard above the din.

"uugh..." Jack stammered.

"YOU WILL NOT HARM THIS CHILD!" Merrington Faye said pulling out his sword and standing between Jack and Teague, Teague also drew his sword.

"Oh put it away!" Jack moaned. "You can shut up!" He said talking to Teague.

"What are you doing here and why did you lie to me!" Teague demanded, for once shocked by Jacks actions.

"I...I...I." Jack stammered, looking from Teague to Faye, suddenly though a huge pirate came over pushing Teague away and starting to engage with him in combat, Merrington-Faye grabbed Jacks shoulder and turned him to face him.

"Jack, I'm sorry, It's a lie, a plot from the navy," Jack looked at Faye he was utterly confused, meanwhile Teague had defeated the large pirate and was making his way back to Jack and Faye, "Just tell him Jack, he is your father." It all became clear to him at that point. Jack didn't know what to do.

"WELL WHAT WERE YOU DOING!" Teague shouted, Jack shook Faye off, glaring at him like he was the devil himself and Faye had never felt worse.

"I...I don't have to answer to you!" Jack said to Teague sticking his nose up in the air and stormed out of the bar and into the cold night air.

"Hormones?" Faye asked, before Teague lunged at him and the sword fight began again.


	7. Sacrifices and Shushing

Chapter 6: Sacrifices and Shushing

Meanwhile, it was Arabella's third night a shipwreck cove and the weather had become worse, lightning streaked the sky and cast eerie shadows around Arabella's room and the thunder shook the house. It was scaring her stiff and keeping her up, she decided to go and see if Jack was awake.

She launched herself onto the floor careful to avoid the underside of the bed in case the monsters grabbed her ankles, she grabbed her dressing gown and ran quickly to the door avoiding the monster in the cupboard and into the halls. She sprinted to Jacks room.

"Jack, Jack." She said urgently knocking on the door, there was no reply.

"Look Jack, I'm sorry I've been spending more time with Valerie than ye, but can I come in?" she practically begged, still no reply, she sighed realising that because Jack had been born in a typhoon he could probably sleep through anything!

"hehehehehe..." said an small echoing voice, Arabella turned sharply and saw what looked like a flash of white run down the corridor.

"Hello? Is anybody there?" she said leaning down the corridor, suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her neck, reaching over to it she pulled out a small dart.

"Oh no..." she groaned just as she passed out.

When Arabella awoke, she could see she was surrounded by four identical children...either that or it was one child and the forest was spinning, wait...forest?!

Another thing Arabella realised was that she was upside down and tied to something...it was four, four small identical girls...chanting, and banging drums.

"Kay naki-yam nah, kay naki-yam nah." They chanted in unison.

"whoa...what are ye doing!?" she said still totally spaced-out, suddenly an elderly woman with painted face, tall headdress and decorated poncho appeared from what seemed like thin air.

"BE SILENT SACRIFICE."

"Don't ye go tellin' me to b-, sacrifice?" she realised suddenly very scared.

The old woman ignored her."SPAWN OF MCFLEMMING, BRING FORTH THE TORCH!" Arabella gulped. The four girls walked towards her carrying flaming torches.

"BUT I DONT TASTE GOOD! HONESTLY! AND IM A SINNER IM NO GOOD PLEASE LISTEN!" Arabella wailed.

"The spirits will decide that sacrifice." The woman said creepily, Arabella's eyes widened.

"YE'RE CRAZY!" she screamed, the woman did the creepiest thing yet, pressed a single finger to her lips and hissed then turned to the children.

"ALIGHT THE FLAME!"

"Could, we talk about this please!" Arabella ventured, trying a 'Jack tactic. In unison the four children placed a finger to their lips and hissed. Arabella shivered and turned white. Simultaneously the children dropped their torches and the pyre set ablaze. Arabella's doom was...nigh.


	8. The 'Rescue' Mission

Chapter 7: The "rescue" mission,

Jack was storming home angrily through the woods when he heard the distance sounds of drums, he turned and saw a ring of fire, he was about to ignore it and move on with "life" and leave some poor creature to its dismal demise when suddenly he heard a familiar scream.

"ARABELLA!" he shouted, breaking into a sprint, towards the cult, "MABLETRUDE!" Jack shouted accusingly.

He had nearly reached Arabella when he was knocked to the floor. He looked up to see the four little witch apprentices smiling eerily.

"Does Mcfleming know about this!?" he asked, gesturing towards the children.

Mabeltrude looked horrified. She began to wave her hands and slowly shake her head. "Mother of spawn of McFleming must never know."

Jack repeated her words in a monotone voice, "Mother of spawn of McFleming must never know."

"JACK!" Arabella screamed from the pyre. The flames were just inches from her hair. But Jack stayed in his trance.

Mabeltrude smiled evilly, "Now DANCE!"

"No!" Jack cried, suddenly snapping out of it. For a moment he looked confused, but then he remembered. "Arabella!" Jack struggled to get to her but two small children were holding on to each of his legs. Combined, they were surprisingly strong. "Why have you got my girlfriend tied to a PYRE?" Jack screamed.

"Girlfriend..?" asked Mabeltrude bewildered, "What's that?"

"Uuuuuuuh... my female friend? My sweetheart? Familiar- no, that's the dog." Jack realised. Arabella looked a little offended.

"_Intimate!" _Mabeltrude gasped.

"If that's what you want to call her, ok! Anyway, GET HER DOWN!"

"Who?"

"My intimate!"  
"Intimate of Whelp of Teague...whelp of Teague has an intimate?" Mabeltrude looked for a moment as if she was contemplating releasing Arabella on the grounds that Jack'd probably never get another...intimate, then, "No. Intimate of Whelp of Teague is sacrifice."

"You. Are. ."

But Mabeltrude was ignoring him. She had recommenced her chanting, "Hum ye ayena! Hum naki yay ha hum naki yay ha hum naki yay ha!" she repeated.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Suddenly Mabletrude turned, "tie the whelp!" she shouted, "He is being troublesome..." Jack tried to protest but eight identical hands pushed him to the foot of a tree and bound and gagged him.

"eeeettt eeee oooohh!" Jack shouted in some incomprehensible language, suddenly though an unexpected hero emerged from the trees.

"GET BACK YOU FOUL SWINE! LEAVE THE GOOD LADY ALONE!" Fitzwilliam p. Dalton III shouted,

"oooottt aaaoouuutt eeee!" Jack desperately screeched.

"meh." Fitz contemplated, "you can have him," he said untying Arabella so she fell into his arms and not into the flames, Fitz paused from battling the children to give Arabella a long, hot and passionate kiss, Arabella's eyes stayed open in amazement.

"OOOOOOOTT AAAOOUUUTT EEEEEE!" Jack screeched, even more desperately. Fitz looked utterly disgusted.

"I'm not going to kiss _you!_" SERIOUSLY! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE MAKING JOKES! Jack thought.

"Don't worry...I will." Arabella said leaping nimbly from Fitzs' arm, Jack turned to Fitz giving him a smug look. Fitz scowled.

Arabella pulled the gag slowly off, kissing Jacks lips, she made shipwreck cove worth being there while also making the situation they were in slightly more bearable. She began getting to work on his bonds and within seconds he was free, as they broke from the kiss she rested her forehead on Jacks.

"This wasn't how tonight was meant to turn out." Jack said quietly, Arabella laughed and helped him to his feet; Fitz now looked so envious he was positively green, he almost looked slightly ill.

As the cult clambered to their feet the trio ran for the shelter of the cove.


	9. Compass Formation

Chapter 8: compass formation.

The next day Valerie had met Fitz and, as they say, the enemy of my enemy is a friend of mine, so she'd adopted Fitz to her little gang of all Jacks friends...this did not include Jack and for the past hour he'd been sat alone on the opposite sofa taking great evil pleasure in destroying one of Teague's five guitars.

"JACK!" Teague shouted from his office, Jack froze, he'd been dreading this moment, "COME HERE!" he boomed.

"I SHALL NOT BE SUMMOUNED BY YOU!" Jack shouted back continuing his evil destruction, then suddenly the four children appeared. Arabella yelped and dived behind Fitz, using him as a human shield, the 'demons', however, ignored her and walked straight over to Jack.

In unison they chorused, "Teague wants his whelp." Jack, in frustration, stabbed the dagger into the guitar and sighed.

"_Jack _wants not Teague!" he replied.

"I see you've met sisters." Valerie said smiling at Arabella.

"They're _ye're_ sisters." Arabella replied in bewilderment.

"Aye?"

Arabella began to creep out from behind fitz when suddenly one of the creatures turned towards her.

"Hello Arabella it's so lovely to finally meet ye!" the little girl said lisped in a sickly sweet voice.

"AAAAAAAAAAGH." Arabella screamed, she froze.

"Relax they're a lot less threatening in daylight." Jack called over, giggling to himself.

"No they're worse..." she began to shake.

"Please can we be friends." The same small child asked hopefully.

"Noooo..."

"Play with me?" another one chimed, stepping forwards.

"Somebody save me! They're ganging up on me!"

Valerie was giving her friend a strange look. She turned to her sisters, "Introduce yourselves nicely, girls."

They looked confused.

"COMPASS FORMATION!" yelled Jack.

"Which way's North?" asked one girl.

Jack waited for Valerie to save him but she didn't, "That way?" he pointed randomly.

"Only as far off as you could be," Valerie smiled sweetly, "That's south."

"No." Jack insisted, "It's North..."

Teague stormed into the room, "JACK! A WORD!"

Valerie interrupted his angry tirade, "Uncle Teague? Which way's North?"

Teague pointed to what, by Jack's compass, would have been South.

Valerie smiled smugly, as did Fitz, which was even more infuriating.

"Lucky guess..." he mumbled, "'S'not like you're a better pirate or anything... – WAIT! Why are you all standing at East?"

The quadruplets had all crowded towards the sun.

"I'm East!" They shouted in unison.

"You can't all be East..." Valerie was explaining to them as Teague dragged Jack from the room by his ear.

"I am very disappointed in you."

"As always..." Jack moaned.

"Enough of your cheek, young man!" Teague bellowed, "You've been being bloody irresp-... IS THAT MY GUITAR?"

Jack had thought that Teague couldn't get any angrier. He was wrong, "No..."

So wrong. THWACK! Jack fell to the floor, his head aching from where Teague had hit him with the guitar. He scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room, "CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!" Jack screeched.

Teague, enraged, followed him, hitting him again and again.

"You'll wreck that guitar even more, you know." Jack tried, turning round to talk to Teague and getting a face full of splintered wood and broken strings.

"It's good for nothing but hitting ye now ye BLOODY BASTARD!"

Jack stopped, "Of this, at least, I can be proud. I am legitimate."

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!"

Jack knew in an instant he had gone too far. He legged it through the living room, Teague hot on his tail.

Arabella, Fitz, Valerie and the four East's watched them rush past.

"He is so going to get it." Valerie smiled, overjoyed. She muttered to herself under her breath, "Please disinherit him."

Jack had leapt into his bedroom and used all the furniture he had to barricade the door, against his enraged father. He pulled the bed over to the door and collapsed onto it, feeling absolutely exhausted, but he couldn't relax yet because just as he got comfortable, Teague stabbed the door and narrowly missed Jacks head, Jack's eyes widened in fear as he looked to the dagger on his left.

"Why is it that I was away from home for a year, facing the likes of Captain Torn-Pants, Left-foot Louis, creatures who reside only in Davy Jones' locker and didn't even get a scratch yet when I get home, I'm in constant peril and always covered in blood...most of which is my own!"

"IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE...COMMENT," Teague shouted, Jack couldn't hear the rest of the sentence over the noise of him manically bashing the door with the pile of splinters that used to be a guitar. One noise Jack could hear though was the constant tapping at his window; he quickly made his way over to find an eagle carrying a small note. Jack quickly grabbed the note from the eagle's feet and pulled apart the scarlet crest. He recognised Merrington-Faye's handwriting:

_Meet me at the docks._

Was all it said, Jack glanced over his shoulder at his now completely battered and useless door, that was now off its hinges an angry Teague had taken its place.

"Hi dad!" Jack said looking around him for some form of escape, no trap doors, no rope, no darts not even a gun, slowly Teague staggered towards him holding up his hands which where coated in blood from guitar splinters,

"Hello...Jackie." he said menacingly.

"You may want to see a doctor about that mate!" Jack said guestering to Teague's hands.

"THAT'S IT!" Teague shouted lunging at Jacks neck, ready to break it or throttle him whichever came first.

Jack then remembered the wobbly board! He gave the board an almighty stamp and the other end whipped up smacking Teague in the jaw and causing him to stagger backwards, giving Jack time to decide his next move...the window! He lunged for the open window catching hold of the washing line and soaring out into the garden.

"This is the day," Jack cried, doffing his bandana, "That you will always remember as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack-"

Teague swung a knife at the washing line and Jack fell, arms flailing, into the garden pond.

"... Sparrow." He finished, brushing a frog off his blood covered face.


	10. Oppertunities

Chapter 9: Opportunities

Jack had made his way to the docks. When he got there he saw Merrington-Faye waiting there anxiously wringing his hat between his hands. But as Jack began to walk towards him Faye began backing away his eyes widening in horror.

"Leaper! Stay away! I don't want your disease! Stay back!" Faye said making the sign of the cross.

"Well there was me thinking that someone today actually wanted to talk to me!" Jack said hurt. Faye's Jaw dropped, he leaned forward scaling up Jack's injury's.

"Jack? Oh Jack what happened you look simply awful!" Faye exclaimed.

"Oh why thank you?"

"Well it's true! You're covered in blood, you've got a black eye and it looks like your nose is broken! What happened! Who did this to you!"

"Why would you care anyway! Seeing as making me trust you was just a ploy for the bloody navy! I hate you! If all you wanted to tell me was that I looked awful then I'm going home where I can be ignored rather than insulted! Actually that's not true! I'm constantly getting almost killed but at least it means that I'm not invisible!" Jack shouted.

"Oh Jack!" he said, his voice full of pity, "I know that I'm not your real father and I know that I broke your trust and betrayed you, but I think you're a truly remarkable young person,"

"Well mate I've always thought I had a certain je ne ce quois but umm-,"

"Jack! For once please listen!" Jack shut up, "I would like to adopt you."

"A-a-adopt me? You mean with three meals a day and sometimes cake in the afternoon?"

"Yes, and so much more! A loving home, a stable family life an-,"

"Yeah! Just keep talking about food," Faye laughed, thinking Jack was joking and ruffled his hair.

"...wait...why?" Jack asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Because I'm very worried for you! Look at you! Your family did this to you! Your father! I'm pretty sure if you stay there much longer you'll be killed!" Faye stopped, " and...Jack, I've grown over these last few days to be extraordinarily fond of you."

"uuuummm..." Jack didn't know how to respond, he felt a little bit emotional, "I need to think about this." Then he promptly walked off, unsure of what to think.

Jack wandered around the port of Shipwreck Island, still too scared to go home. He was pondering his situation and all the many ways in which this offer could improve his life and also how long he needed to leave it before Teague was calm again.

"JACK!" Robin shouted running towards him, "JACK! You look...horrible." he said wrinkling his nose and bending to look underneath Jacks hat and at his bloodied and bruised face.

"Oh why thank you." Jack said sarcastically, looking over at Callie and Coralina who obviously thought differently!

"Hi Jack." Callie smiled flirtatiously.

"Hi...Callie." Jack said backing away slightly. He turned to the side and saw that Coralina was reaching for his hair, Diego and Robin did not look impressed.

"Where have you been?!" Diego asked.

"We've missed you..." Coralina trailed off and reached for his hair again.

"I've missed you most." Callie stated creepily.

"Ok, I need to go..." he said slipping away.

"Oh well see ya then stranger!" Diego teased.

"See you around then Jack." Callie whispered seductively. Robin came between them.

"Have you managed to get _your own_ girlfriend yet?"

"I don't need one! I got everyone else's." He joked, Robin looked as angry as Teague, Jack stepped backwards slightly, "I'm joking! Yes I do actually."

Coralina gasped, "You mean single sparrow actually has a girlfriend." She teased.

"Yes...sorry Carolina, callie." He hung his head.

"WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DONT!" Callie burst out, the others, even Jack, looked at her shocked.

"umm, she's a bit taller." Jack ventured.

"So, who is she? What's her name?" Diego asked leading Jack away from the girls...and robin.

"Arabella." Jack replied happily.

"ooo, fancy!" Diego joked, "How did you meet her?"

"Well it's a long story, she used to be a barmaid in Tortuga,"

"Whore." Callie coughed,

"What's she look like?" Diego said glaring angrily at Callie,

"pretty damn fit!"

"Hair colour?"

"red."

"Ginger." Coralina muttered,

"eyes."

"Brown."

"Bosom?"

Jack slapped him in the stomach, "Shut up you!" He said laughing.

"How far have you gone?"

"Well, that's personal information-,"

"So that's just kissing then?"

"Yes." Jack muttered so quietly it was inaudible.

"How long have you been going out?" he asked curiously.

"I dunno...a month."

"Oh mate! You've lost your touch! You normally have 'em in one night!" Diego laughed.

"DIEGO!" Coralina snapped, Diego ignored her and continued to poke holes in Jack's relationship, "So what's so special about the Ginger Whore?"

"Firstly she's not ginger, secondly she's not a whore unlike your mum and thirdly I'm not single sparrow anymore...so ha!" Jack said, "I'm going to the bar." he stated.

"I'll come with you, maybe we can pick someone up so you don't get out of practice!" he said running after Jack.


	11. The Monster Under the Bed

Chapter 10: the monster under the bed.

Jack sauntered home, clutching his pint of...apple juice. In the end it had been Diego who'd managed to pick someone up and Jack was walking home alone. As soon as he got to the door, it dawned on him.

"Bugger! It's one o'clock in the morning and Teague already wants my guts!" Jack tried the door handle but it was locked. He looked up and saw that a window was open... on the fourth floor. Could he climb the bushes up or would he plummet to his doom? Jack wasn't sure, but it didn't matter; either way he was doomed. He put his foot into a crevice, grabbed a vine (which snapped instantly), grabbed another brick before he fell and slowly, inch by inch, crawled his way up. Finally, he reached the window sill. He wrapped his fingers around it and heaved himself up then tumbled through and into the room with a resounding crash.

The figure in the bed shot up and stared at him.

"_Jack?" _Valerie hissed, "What are you doing in my room?"

Jack's mind went blank, "This is all a dream..." he attempted an impression of Mabeltrude, "I am not here. Go to sleeeeeeeep." He waved his arms in front of Valerie's face.

Valerie slapped them away, "Don't touch me!"

"This is not how it seems... honest." Jack tried to explain.

"I don't care! Just get out of my room!"

Valerie dragged him to the door, flung it open and pushed him out, right into Teague.

"VALERIE!" Jack cried desperately, "Let me in!"

But there was no response.

Teague's face looked haggard and exhausted. Jack reckoned that, if he ran really fast in a zigzag line, he might be able to confuse the half-asleep Teague for long enough to get to the safety of his room.

It worked.

He flung the door open and shut it in Teague's face, but as soon as Jack turned to face his trashed room he saw the body of Fitz...in his bed!

Jack screamed silently, his room had been infected, he felt betrayed. Everything needed to be sterilized and why was he in there! There were so many guest rooms! He realised with a heavy heart that he'd been replaced, that his family cared more about the naval swine than him.

Jack rushed back out the room before he caught Fitz' germs and darted across the hallway, missing Teague who was wielding a candlestick into the first unlocked room he could see, and dove under the bed hiding himself quickly.

Arabella yawned as Teague rushed into her room.

"Where's Jack?" Teague asked menacingly looking suspicious.

"What?" Arabella groaned still half asleep, Teague sniffed.

"I can smell him..."

"That's not weird at all..." Arabella groaned, "he's not in 'ere, I'm going to sleep."

"If you are harbouring the fugitive..."

"HE'S YER SON!" Arabella practically shouted. Teague sniffed once more.

"I know the nature of your relationship." He growled, "stay safe." He walked out and slammed the door.

Arabella stayed bolt upright, suddenly though Arabella felt something clutching her foot,

"East?" she asked with dread, "Monster under my bed?" She said almost hopefully.

"It's Jack!" Jack said popping up from the end the bed, Arabella was about to scream at the sight of his bloodied face and black eye, when Jack put a hand over her mouth, "Please be quiet." He begged, when she nodded he let go.

"What are ye doing here!" she demanded.

"My room has been over taken by invading forces that carry strange diseases that make you talk all posh...savvy?" he said anxiously,

Arabella sighed. "Fitz? We told him he could sleep in your room 'cause you weren't back!" she explained,

"Oh thank you." Jack replied his voice littered with sarcasm, "so where am I sleeping!"

"Ye can't sleep here!" Arabella snapped.

Jack's face fell. "Well, pray tell, how do I get to another room, in which to sleep, without my mad father, murdering me with a CANDLESTICK!" He screeched.

"Stop shouting at me! It's not my fault!" Arabella moaned, snuggling down amongst her pillows.

"Yes it is! You put Fitz in my room!"

"Stop moaning, I want to sleep." Arabella's voice was muffled by the pillow.

"WHERE DO I SLEEP!" He demanded.

"Use your initiative." She said slowing drifting off into sleep.

"Ok then...I will." Jack muttered, looking around the room, hard wooden floor, hard wooden desk, hard wooden wardrobe, or soft comfy bed, Jack lifted up the corner of the sheet and snuggled into the pillows and Arabella, her eyes opened wide.

"GET OUT!" She got up and tugged at the sheet, but as there was a space into the bed, Jack decided to fill it, he sprawled across the entire length of the bed,

"Don't care now, do you?" Jack asked groggily, Arabella began jumping on the bed and on Jack,

"I'm so tired I don't care..." Jack moaned, "OW MY RIBS!" Jack shrieked, Jack sat up and clutched his side, moaning in agnoy. Arabella decided to seize the moment, while her enemy was weak and with hard kick sent him sprawling off the bed. She snuggled down again.

"Goodnight Jack." Arabella said smiling smugly and throwing him one of her many blankets, " Sleep on the floor." She commanded, Jack crawled over to a more comfy looking piece of floor and tried to make himself comfy.

"Now go to sleep." Arabella whispered, Jack was silent and Arabella began to snuggle back down to sleep, then Jack suddenly remembered what Faye had said and decided that Arabella was the best person to consult for advice... especially at this time of night.

"Bells...I need to talk to you, its impor-,"

"Not now, talk to me in the morning," Jack sighed as Arabella began snoring lightly.


	12. Single Sparrow

Chapter 11: Single sparrow,

The next morning Jack woke up with the worst back ache he'd had in years, as soon as he stretched it felt like the individual bones were clicking into place, one by one. He looked over at Arabella, her hair was sprawled out on the sheets and her arm was hiding her face, but she was smiling serenely, and snoring softly. She'd obviously had a very good night's sleep.

Jack stood up, squinting as the daylight burned his eyes, and staggered around the room, trying to click his back back into place, and then out of the room and into the bathroom where he began to assess his injuries.

"Oh god..." Jack suddenly understood why Merrington had been so worried last night. He had one black eye and dried blood in his hair, on his lip (which looked split) and pretty much everywhere else. Luckily, however, Jack's nose wasn't broken. It was a small consolation but at least none of the rest of these were permanent, and they gave Jack something of a rugged look. The girls last night had certainly liked it.

He began to splash his face with water, both to wash off the blood and to wake him. Then he opened the door and saw the quadruplets, standing in a line, each holding a toothbrush. In their hands toothbrushes looked like the most threatening weapons in the world.

"Good Morning Whelp." The children chorused.

"Is it? Is it really!?" Jack asked walking past them and downstairs, then he turned, "Oh and by the way what did I tell you about scaring guests?"

"That if we scare them they won't come back and that limits our chances of escape." They chimed.

"And what did I tell you about killing guests?"

"That if we kill them, they won't ever go away but we can't play with them anymore and Mabletrude will make strange things out of them." They chimed in unison.

"Yes...and then she'll hang them in my wardrobe." He muttered angrily, "So I want you all to promise to stop scaring and trying to hurt Arabella."

"Awww..." the four-headed monster moaned.

Jack raised an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips.

"OK."

"Good... creepy... little East children." Jack ruffled the hair of the nearest one and then went downstairs, risking life and limb, to find somewhere to get some sleep. Eventually he settled for the least stained sofa in the living room and snuggled down on the pillow. He was asleep within moments.

Jack awoke to a tapping on his shoulder,

"Go away..." he smiled opening his eyes, then the figure bared into focus... "Teague..." He murmured, "hello! You alright?" He asked trying to make conversation before slaughter. He was too tired to run anymore, maybe if he pretended that nothing had happened perhaps Teague would forget too!

"Hello Jackie..." He said menacingly, he smiled, his bloodshot eyes went wide, "what have you got to say for yourself?" He asked just as menacingly, Jack decided to play the innocence card.

"I love you daddy?" Jack tried, going to hug Teague's leg.

"What are you doing?" Asked Teague feeling rather disturbed.

"I'm showing affection!" Jack explained.

"Stop it, it's weird." Teague said quickly brushing Jack off and walking off quickly, Jack just shrugged his shoulders and went back to the sofa and once again fell asleep.

He woke up to the sounds of Arabella, Fitz and Valerie laughing happily...without him, they were sat chatting on the sofa suddenly though Jack remembered that he needed to talk to Arabella,

"Arabella, please can I talk to you!" Jack begged.

"Sorry! I'm talking to Valerie and Fitz!"

"But it's really important and I want your advice." She ignored him and anger, fuelled by sleep-deprivation and soreness, drove him.

"ARABELLA CAN I DRAG YOU AWAY FROM YOUR GIRLFRIENDS FOR ONE MINUTE!" he shouted.

"What did you say?" Arabella spat.

"You heard me!" Jack replied cockily.

"You a bit jealous Jack?" Valerie teased.

"Not for you! You who will never be anything in this family of men!" Jack jeered.

"JACK!" Arabella shouted, her famous hot headed-temper coming forward.

"EVEN YOUR NAMES A BOYS!" Jack shouted.

"AT LEAST MY NAME ISNT AS SHORT AS MY PENIS!" she screeched.

"How do you know?" Asked Fitz suddenly concerned.

"eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!" Jack and Valerie shouted, stepping away from each other...quickly.

"Fitz...I am way out of his league!" Valerie explained.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME! IF I SLEPT WITH YOU YOU'D BE GREATFUL!" he shouted, suddenly Teague walked through the room...with Cathy!

"Oh Jack." Teague groaned, he turned to Valerie, "Valerie have some self respect!" He moaned.

They both went bright scarlet after Teague had left.

"See even your father thinks I'm out of your league." Valerie shouted

"EXCUSE ME! BUT CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT INCEST PLEASE!" Arabella yelled.

"WELL SEEING AS YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING ANYWAY! I DIDNT THINK YOU'D MIND!" He shouted meanly, "VALERIE MIGHT AS WELL BE MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Suddenly Teague walked through again,

"No Jack...please!" He moaned.

"GET OUT!" he screamed at Teague.

Teague left hastily left the room.

"OH. WELL. FINE THEN! IF THAT'S HOW YE FEEL THEN...ITS OVER!" she screamed.

"REALLY? WELL FOR ME IT'S BEEN OVER SINCE YOU ARRIVED! I NEVER WANTED TO GO OUT WITH YOU ANYWAY! YOU KISSED ME!" Jack shouted, trying to cover up emotion.

"No Valerie! No!" Teague shouted from his office, Valerie looked concerned.

"AT LEAST NOW I CAN GO BACK TO ALL THE OTHER WHORES!" he screamed. "OH WAIT I WAS DATING ONE!"

Arabella slapped him and ran upstairs crying.

"Way to go Jack!" Valerie spat, storming out of the room after Arabella.

"I'm going to show her how real men behave!" Fitz exclaimed slapping Jack as well.

"OH ARE YOU? GIRL!" he screamed, Fitz stuck his nose in the air and strutted out, offended. Jack waited till they'd all gone then ran out of the front door, just as the awful truth of what had happened dawned on him.

Teague had been searching for Jack all morning, but whoever he asked didn't seem to care where he was.

"I HOPE HE'S DEAD! Valerie spat.

"I hope East's have him." Arabella said quietly.

"He is the scum of the earth! The very fires of hell would not be punishment enough for his evil corrupted soul." Fitz philosophised, Teague didn't ask.

"Yeah. But have you seen him?" Teague asked more forcefully this time.

"No." The three of them chimed

"I hope I never see him again!" Valerie expressed, Teague sighed and in the corridor bumped into Cathy, he grabbed her arms.

"Cathy! Have you seen Jack?" He prayed she'd say yes.

"Umm...yes! He's in your ship." She replied.

"Why were you in my ship?" Teague asked.

"I wanted some air, I wasn't following Jack."

"...that's good." He practically ignored her, and ran down to the docks.

"Jack! Jackie! WHELP!" Teague shouted around the bilges.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Jack cried from the shadows, "WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE...TO DIE!" Jack added dramatically.

"Everyone seems to want your blood...quite badly, apart from fitz! He just wants the eternal damnation of your soul." Teague explained.

"Oh...cheery."

"What did you do?"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS ASSUME IT'S MY FAULT." Jack demanded,

"Well...it normally is..."

"BUT IT'S NOT IS IT! They hated me, I left! They won't talk to me, I confront and suddenly I'm the bad guy! You follow me to a pub! Start a fight and then beat me up! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"It's not?" Teague asked jokingly, Jack rolled his eyes and went back to 'decorating' Teague's wardrobe.

"Look, in life, things aren't fair."

"Oh enough of your bloody life lessons!"

"What's happened?" asked Teague, for once not telling Jack off for being cheeky.

Jack sighed, "Arabella broke up with me."

Teague put a hand on Jack's shoulder, "Women, ey? – Wait, I thought you were going out with Valerie?"

"NO! I don't even like Valerie! And we're _related!_"

Teague looked relieved, "Well, I'm glad to hear that you have some standards!"

Jack rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe that he'd expected Teague to understand. He walked away.

"Wait, Jack!" Teague called, "I'm sorry."

Jack turned, "For what?"

Teague ignored him, "Cheer up. Now you don't have a regular you can go back to all your usual sluts and whores."

Jack had to laugh. Only Teague would comfort his broken-hearted son like that.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea," Teague went on, "Some easier to catch than others! Taste as many as possible before you settle down and just eat one."

"That's a really weird metaphor..."

"My point is that there are plenty of other girls and we all know that you can snag 'em. Now why don't you get yerself down to the pub and get started.

"You are my father. You're not meant to encourage me in this."

Teague laughed, "Like father, like son. I'm proud of you, Jackie."

Jack wasn't sure what to say, "Ummm... Can I have money?"

"Why?"

"Because I haven't eaten in a week. And I'm your beloved son." Jack grinned.

Teague shook his head, "No. I don't love you that much."

Jack supposed that after all that had passed between them, Arabella wouldn't be up for helping him sort out his life, so he decided to sort out Faye's offer...alone.

"Okay then Jack," Jack said to himself. "What would Bells do in this situation? Think Jack, think. She'd do something smart and sensible like...WRITE A LIST!" Jack grabbed a piece of paper and a stubby pencil from the desk in his new, un-Fitz infested room. He halved the paper then halved it again and wrote 'Pros of staying', 'Pros of going', 'Cons of staying' and 'Cons of going' in each of the quarters.

"Right then, pros of staying..." Jack scratched his head for a second, "Moving on to pros of going. Ummm, I won't be killed, I will have food...every-day, sometimes I'll have cake, a supportive family and I'll have my own bedroom which doesn't get invaded all the time and no creepy cousins, no Mabletrude, space, tranquillity and freedom, of sorts, and I won't be Teague's whelp. Cons of staying, Mabletrude, Grandmama, Valerie, East's, likely to be dead rather soon and no one loves me, I'm constantly hungry, cons of going- I'll catch Fitzyness! I'll have to dress like Fitz." He thought long and hard about being infected with the aristo-germs. Was it worth giving up his pirate-ness for food, a bed and a safe home, yes...it was worth it. Then he looked back at the Pro's of staying and wrote one word...Teague.

Teague was his dad after-all no matter how bad at his parental duties he was, he was always going to be Jack's closest relative and the only parent he had. But by now he knew he'd made up his mind, he was going. Teague would get over it! Valerie could be his heir, that'd make them both happy! And after all he had Cathy. Jack told himself he didn't have to feel guilty and sent a pigeon to Faye informing him of his decision. The reply came almost immediately,

_Meet me in the woods tonight at nine pm. I promise Jack, you'll have a better life with my family._

_George._

Jack screwed up the note and threw it in the fire stopping anyone from tracing him. He began to pack.


	13. Runawayagain

Chapter 12: Runaway... again

Jack didn't say any goodbyes. At 8 o' clock that evening he left the house, unobserved, and headed towards the woods.

He was feeling extremely jumpy; hearing a twig snap behind him he leapt up a tree but when he looked there was nothing there.

He leapt down again and immediently there was a hand on his shoulder, Jack jumped but then realised it was probably Faye.

"Faye- _Cathy?" _Jack gasped.

"Hello Jack," she whispered, "I've finally got you on your own."

"Uuuh-"

Jack was silenced by Cathy's lips pressing on to his. He was so shocked that he couldn't move or resist and she pushed him to the ground, kissing him, running her fingers all over him, rubbing herself against him. Jack was horrified. This was his Dad's girlfriend! Who was twenty-three!

"Cathy, could you stop-"

"Don't talk." Cathy whispered, biting his lip.

"Owww!" Jack cried, trying to push her off him but she clung on.

Desperately, Jack tried to wriggle free but it was no use. Cathy was surprisingly strong and extremely determined. She ripped Jack's top off and started kissing his neck.

"You are a _freak!_" Jack cried, kicking her in the stomach. He was free! He grabbed his shirt and threw it over his head but while he was distracted, Cathy latched onto his ankle and pulled him back down to the floor. Jack fell on top of her, his head still stuck in his top.

"Cathy!"

"Jack!" cried the two people in the world who Jack least wanted to see.

"Jack! Get off me!" cried Cathy, thinking quickly. "Teague! Save me! Your son just ambushed and attacked me!"

Jack was too shocked to defend himself. He pulled his head through his top and looked up into the furious faces of Teague and Arabella. Cathy ran to Teague, crying noisily. Jack almost respected her for her extraordinary acting abilities.

"SHES A CRAZY FREAK! SHE TRIED TO RAPE ME! SHE BIT ME!" Jack shrieked, Teague looked confused unsure of who to believe, Arabella walked towards him quickly and slapped him round the jaw,

"Ok! I did not deserve that!" Jack exclaimed.

"Yes ye did, ye unloved worthless failure!" she screamed in his face,

"Whoa! That's harsh!" he said,

"Not for ye! Ye deserve the worst."

"Shut up!" Jack screamed.

"Teague," Cathy said, "He seems out of control. Perhaps I should take him home."

"Good i-"

"Get away from me you freak!" yelled Jack.

"JACK! CALM DOWN!" Teague said, shocked.

"You can SHUT UP!" Jack shouted at Teague, Teague was taken aback,

"ENGARDE!" Teague screamed pulling out his sword; suddenly a small east child appeared from the trees,

"Excuse me Uncle Teague, but why was Auntie Cathy pinning your whelp to the ground and kissing him."

"I love you east children." Jack said going over to hug the child, he quickly looked over at her he saw Arabella was suddenly screaming in her face,

"YE STUPID, OLD, SLUT!" She hissed at Cathy.

"Why do ye care? I thought ye dumped him!" Cathy retaliated.

"Yeah... I did...but..." Arabella trailed off looking into Jacks eyes, "Come 'ere." She said running over to Jack and kissing him lovingly on the lips they embraced happily leaning her forehead against Jacks she whisped "I love ye Jack sparrow."

Jack smiled, "I lo-,"

"JACK!" Faye cried running over, "Teague," He stopped in his tracked, suddenly fearful, Teague stopped shouting at Cathy and turned to Faye,

"YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" he screeched lunging at Faye with his sword, Jack mouthed a quick 'no' by Merrington ignored him.

"I'm here to take Jack away to a better life, away from you and the troublesome family to a place where he can be happy." Faye stated confidently, Jack face-palmed dreading what was going to happen next. Teague's face became redder and redder, anger building up inside him as he began quivering with rage, suddenly the build up anger spilled out of his mouth.

"I MADE THIS CHILD THE MESSED UP, WHORE CRAVING, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY SCARRED INDIVIDUAL HE IS TODAY!" he bellowed.

"Thanks!" Jack called sarcastically.

"HE'S MY SON!" Teague continued his angered tirade.

"Engarde!" Faye shouted, "You don't deserve this child!"

"YE DONT DESERVE TO LIVE NAVY SCUM!" Teague screamed lunging at Faye and ripping his, until now, immaculate jacket, swords were drawn and Jack backed away.

"Well...that's my evening ruined..." Jack said turning to an invisible bells, "bells...BELLS!" he said worriedly, it looked for a moment as if Cathy were hugging her until Jack looked closer and realised she was pummelling her in the stomach and strangling her, Jack dropped his hands in exasperation

"OH THAT'S FINE THEN LETS JUST DRAW OUR SWORDS AND START SLASHING AWAY AT EACHOTHER THAT'S GOING TO SOLVE EVERYTHING!" He exclaimed angrily. Suddenly Mabletrude popped up from no -where, Jack dreaded what she'd been doing with the east children...

"One day," Mabletrude said ominously, "An angry woman will shout this at you at two other men!" Jack cringed as to what she meant.

"I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR PREDICTI-," his head started spinning as he felt a sharp pain hit him, he fell to the floor,

"Night, night whelp of Teague." Mabletrude waved to Jack as he passed out.

Jack awoke to the feel of a soft pressure on his lips, kissing him affectionately.

"AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGEEEETTTOOFFFMMMMEEEECATHY!" he screamed, pushing away the attacker with force and brutality, sitting up to better survey the situation, as soon as he saw what was going on he sighed in relief...it was Arabella, who looked slightly hurt physically and emotionally.

"Sorry, Lass, thought you were...someone else." He explained, running over to her and helping her up, " Just a note of caution, perhaps we shouldn't kiss for a while, ya see I have Cathy and Teague germs, it's disgusting and I'm probably diseased and highly infectious." He explained before a sharp stab of pain shot through his head, "uuuuggghhh why does Mabletrude have to throw things at me! What've I done to deserve this mad family?" He moaned clutching his head.

"About that...Teague and Merrington-Faye want to talk to ye." She grimaced.

"I can't deal with all the drama," He groaned, "my head hurts too much!"

"Actually I think you'll find they are a lot calmer now." She explained.

"Can't you tell them I'm still asleep?" Jack begged.

"HE'S AWAKE!" she shouted, smiling impishly and flitting from the room. Jack rolled his eyes, still clutching the back of his head and stood up, Teague and Merrington walked in, still looking at each other coldly but at least the swords were tucked away.

"Gentlemen, before we proceed, please leave all your weaponry at the door." Jack glared at the two men, Merrington happily disarmed putting down a sword and a pistol, Teague, somewhat more grudgingly, put down his blade and gun, Jack cocked and eyebrow.

"_All_ your weapons." He said impatiently, Teague sighed pulling two hidden blades, three small daggers, a rather large gun and bomb from his pockets.

"I said _all_ your weapons." He repeated, tapping his foot against the floorboards. Teague took a knife from his sock and after a sharp look from Jack a rather spiky hairpin from his dreadlocks, Jack examined Teague for any bumps of guns or sheaths for daggers,

"Now we can begin!" he said, dreading what was going to happen.

"Jackie, I've been talking things with...'im, if ya want to go you can go." Teague sighed examining the floorboards as sheepishly as was possible, Jack smiled, he knew his place, but he was still enjoying this moment of power over Teague.

"Thanks...but no thanks." He said somewhat sadly. Teague looked up at Jack. "I'm sorry Merrington but I guess I belong here, this is my home...after-all, and blood is thicker than water...and food." He sighed the last bit his resolve wavered for a moment and then he heard Arabella and Valerie behind the door.

"HA!" Arabella cried, "TEN SHILLINGS! PAY UP!"

"DAMN HIM!" Valerie shouted, some-what evilly, but before Jack could speak again Teague launched himself to Jacks side, hugging him possessively and ruffling his hair.

"THAT'S ME BOY! GET BACK TO YOUR SHIP NAVY SCUM I WIN!" Jack was surprised that Teague's cool calm and collected manor had actually been broken.

"Jack if that's what you want, then I wish you the best." Merrington turned to Teague, "You better treat him right, if not, watch your back. Jack if you need anything don't be scared to ask." Faye cocked his hat and then turned back to Jack, "And...I think you'd make a great naval officer." Then, before Teague could find one of his other concealed weapons, Merrington left.

Once Faye had gone Jack stood up facing Teague just as he began to walk away.

"But there's one condition...I'm not living here with this mad and murderous family any more. I've been in worse danger here in two weeks than two years of fighting giant snakes with three heads, left foot Louis and captain Torrents."

Teague turned.

"It would be nice to get some work done in peace...and to be able to concentrate without someone killing someone every five minutes." He sighed.

"So...what d'ya say, just me you and the dogs."

Teague sighed realising he had to make a choice, Jack...or the rest of the family, he thought of Mcfleming's questionable cookery skills and Mabletrude's alarming prophecies,

"Deal." He agreed.


End file.
